Bangalore Diary: Curtains on the Trip

Towards the end of my stay my friend, Kitty, asked me how I was feeling about the city as my visit was drawing to a close. The novelty had worn off, somewhat, and a little fatigue was setting in. However, unlike the previous times I had visited India this time it no longer felt like I was living out of a suitcase. I was comfortably ensconced in an apartment, I had mobile phone and internet access, I had privacy, and I had my mother to keep me company. There are things I have never had in the U.S. that I enjoyed in India -- in particular, the feeling that I was well-plugged into society.

But, I have lived for over twenty years in the U.S.. The isolation and solitude that I have lived with, I have grown accustomed to. India is a 24-hour bazaar -- bustling, and continually in-your-face. On occasion, I missed the dullness and quietness of U.S. life. I also missed my home -- my sanctuary for over a decade --, and my family and friends. But most importantly, throughout my stay in India I was actively in touch with my children. I have to admit that I am an over-involved parent, and even eight thousand miles of separation can't keep me from being that way. I spent hours on the phone talking to my girls, in what I regarded as counseling (who knows how they perceived it!). Eventually, I felt it was less effective doing this long-distance, and I grew anxious to return home.

So, in a sense, I was happy to return home, but only because I held the hope that, going forward, I will get to spend some time every year in India.